Methodology.

Every scenario rolls up two numbers: the dollar outlay in the year you “bought” (not adjusted for inflation) and a value today. Nothing here is a live price feed. Every “today” figure is rounded and illustrative, as of October 2026. Treat them as ballparks, not financial data.

Crypto is the part we checked against named sources. Bitcoin: the first trades on Mt. Gox in July 2010 cleared at about $0.05 a coin (Clark Moody's market data), so $100 bought roughly 2,000 BTC. Ethereum: the 2014 presale sold ether at 2,000 per bitcoin, about $0.31 at the time (Ethereum Foundation, July 2014). Today's values use CoinGecko spot prices on October 25, 2026 (BTC about $80,400, ETH about $2,345), rounded to two significant figures.

Stocks (BRK, WMT, AAPL, AMZN, NVDA, TSLA) and collectibles (Beatles White Album first press, Air Jordan 1 OG, a sealed Pokémon Base Set booster box) are rounded estimates of split-adjusted stock returns and secondary-market prices. They have not been re-checked against a dated price source, so read them as the right order of magnitude, not as quotes.

What this is not. Not financial advice. Not a calculator. Not a recommendation to buy any asset class. Past returns do not predict future returns. The site rounds aggressively for readability. “~$160M for $100 of bitcoin” is a gestural figure, not a basis for tax math. If you are using these numbers to make a decision more consequential than “should I screenshot this and send it to my brother,” please do not.

Zero monetization, by design. No ads, no affiliate links, no email capture, no upsell to a financial product. The site exists to be shared, and adding revenue plumbing would compromise the joke. If you find yourself wondering where the catch is, that's the catch.